When we hear these two words ‘Messy Church’, we may well have a picture in our minds of what we hope will happen and how it will look if we were to pop in. However, my monthly experience is that I see two very different events happening for the same reason….
I’m part of All Saints Church in Mudeford, where we run two identical Messy Churches a month in terms of content but have missional differences in terms of what we are looking to achieve. The differences aren’t down to buildings, or team that we can find for each Messy Church. It’s all down to do the children and families we meet, what we have learnt by listening and chatting with them, and how we can make Messy Church work best for them. At both Messy Churches we have an amazing team, and together we have learnt to do things differently in different places.
At both Messy Churches we have a great relationship with children, parents and carers. These relationships had to be started afresh after Covid. It took time to rebuild both events, and we learnt a lot about trusting God to bring along the families we now see. This rebuilding has meant we have had time to get to know the families better, which has been a good thing. In this rebuilding it’s helped us to realise that both events have families at them, who come to Messy Church for a variety of reasons. Yes, they come along for the Bible stories, craft & celebration time, but we have learnt there are other reasons too.
Food– Messy Church and food is so key to an event. We do the same meal every time, and both children and parents appreciate knowing what they are going to eat. However, the last few months we have been offering the meal to parents as well, noticing parents taking this offer up as the ‘credit crunch’ has hit them. I’ve learnt that food is a great way of chatting to people in a chilled way. At Messy Church we see food as a time to socialise with adults, children and learn what they may be needing in what we can offer – it’s a spiritual encounter!
Space & Time – Parents need space and time to be with each other, and chat with team. At one of our Messy Churches the children are moving around the tables while the parents chat over a coffee in eyesight, after a while some of the parents may move in to join their children.
Some of the parents were saying this is one of the few chances to they get to chat with each other, and again team get caught up in some of this chat too, which is great. We now have one or two team members who mix and chat with the parents and share what Bible story we are doing and hear how they are doing since we last met. As these chats happen, we are hearing of needs and concerns of these families and offer support and assurance, as well as signposting events that are happening that may be of help to them.
Celebration Event– at one of our Messy Churches, we move the children back to join their parents and hold the celebration in the coffee area where the parents are, increasing involvement by everyone.
What Next? – One of our team has started an event called ‘Walk & Talk’ once a month. Parents are invited for a walk and talk after school drop off. On the walk with toddlers and buggies, they catch up on life, as well as chat about faith. At the end of the hour-long walk, they have a prayer. It’s a great way of building stronger links with families, as well as the hope one day of offering a programme that explores faith for them, such as Alpha or Just Looking.
We are also look to host a Breakfast Church on a Sunday morning on a regular, but not weekly basis. Again, a chance for a Messy Church ‘feel’ event, helping to be a bridge to the wider life of the church, while never seeing Messy Church as not their church.
“People Before Programmes” For me this is what drives missional thinking. What is my hope, desire or prayer for those that come to Messy Church? It should be a place where faith is shared – Yes! Jesus invited people to follow him in a way that they could relate to – Yes! How do we do the same? By offering Messy Church, with all its resources and ideas, but at the same time listening, listening, and listening to the needs of the children and families, where they are on their faith journey and how we can contextualise (make it work well for those who attend) Messy Church to help them grow in love for Jesus, and as followers of Jesus.
I know all the above is not always easy to do, but its exciting and challenging, and messy at times. However, that’s because we are all creative individuals made in the image of God – and with that diversity is never going to be straightforward!
Enjoy being messy!
I wonder..?
How do you listen to the people who come to your Messy Church?
Do you need to change anything to make it work well for those who attend?
Andy Saunders
Children’s & Family Ministry
Training, Consultancy & Mentoring
Website www.lighthouseministries.co.uk
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